yesterday, aSh came with a dying dog to my house, hoping for a vet around here but just like very other money making doctors who works half day and closes early, the nearest vet is closed. and the other one is far away but charges rm100 as an 'entrance fee'. so while on the way there, the dog died.

the dog was found sitting in the middle of the road, maybe he cannot move, but i felt he sat up with dignity. i do not know. call me crazy, emotional, whatever.

i have a respect for street dogs cuz they are very capable of taking care of themselves, even when people pour hot water on them. honestly. and they know where to do their business, well, at least those around my housing area, they chose the empty land... unlike those home breed dogs. even worse are those tiny dogs who cannot protect themselves and live only in the house with no knowledge of how difficult the outside world is. they just bark and bark and bark and wait for food and are pampered to the max!!! yes, i mean my dog too.

if you have heard the whimper the dog made in the car while covered with blood, i think you will understand how i felt that night.

actually, he looked like my old dog. my very first dog.

i know this is ridiculous, but have the stupid driver who knocked the dog and left him there thought about what if this dog is trying to get home, even if it is just a broken shelter, to the family? what if he gets knocked and left on the road?

sometimes, just cuz some things are smaller than us, we think that they are not as important as us. and when some things are bigger than us, we kill them to protect ourselves.

sometimes, doctors are just useless :( they do not save life. they do not help people. they are not as noble as the consensus think they are. they are just out to make money. be a businessman instead!

sometimes, they cannot even find a cure. just making you stay there on the bed with all the tubes inside you which cannot even save you. just prolonging your life with the reasoning that there is a probability that the researchers will find a fcure while you lay there not being able to do anything at all. and that is called prolonging 'life'. thank you very much.

well, on the other hand, doctors are not God. they are here to do their best. and somehow, their best is not always good enough. but they still cure our common sickness while charging us rm50 per visit! and all the life prolonging and controlling diseases such as diabetes which i will most likely have.

life is bad.


ps : omg. my whole screen blank out just now. damn. what happened?!! no, it is not too hot. please do not let my com die...