why am i sick at times like this?!!! damn!
Labels: Emo
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About Me: a very boring gal... really very boring. don't bother knowing
posted by ˈtʃokəlitsrbluː at 11:35 AM
October 28, 2007
it is really not about the future. it is more about the time spent on stupid physics, math, chem, econs, gp. the two years that i used here. the money they gave me. the pain someone have to go through just cuz of me. call me short sighted, anything. i am, i guess. no uni application, no scholarships application, no idea what course, i guess it is really not about the future. guess i am not that picky after all. or perhaps, i just do not know what is going to hit me. do not become like me.
starting to feel the fear.
ps: i miss home.
starting to feel the fear.
ps: i miss home.
Labels: Random thoughts
October 20, 2007
my dog is cute, right? sorry, jas, never managed to bring the picture. so now you can see it here :D xiao hao4 is in mandarin and it is actually from the word hao zi which means rat... so... haha. but it is so tiny and it can never stop biting! but cute at the same time :D ok, i brainwashed myself into thinking it is cute. haha. actually, it is cute when it is sleeping and making that sound as if it is really sad when we leave it alone. but when it starts jumping around, i really cannot take it. it seems that the leg is very fragile too, so it cannot jump from very high place. and it does not help with the fact that it loves to jump! the ears are so cute!!! haha.
a levels coming and i am stil playing. but sort of want to give up putting anymore info into my brain cuz it is not going to work, i will never be able to do ionic, or anything else. feels like just giving up and go into the exam with whatever i have in my tiny brain! really. should i? cuz this is too scary. like knowing things at the last minute and the fact that you spent so much time with it and in the end, you still have got no idea wtf the question is asking about when the question comes out in a levels. then you feel so demoralized cuz you spent so much of your time on it T.T
tired and do not want to think about anything.
what do you do when somebody do not think like you or like everyone else does? does this mean you are right? or at least socially right? what if it is starting to give you pain in the a*! how many times can you put yourself in their shoes (and still not understand anything every single time you did that)?! how many times can you use the same excuse for a person, thinking that this is inherent in this person and so i cannot help it? when do you know that you have stop having feelings? how do you know you are ready to let go of whatever it is that is or was important to you? when will the fear of insecurity and fear of changes ever going to leave? when someone hurts you, is it that person insensitive or you are too sensitive?
sigh... just some questions about life that has been bugging me... haha.
sigh... a levels.
sigh, sick again. sore throat.
ps : i have concluded that i am super chicken! sis should understand. i bet that's what she thinks too... isn't it?
a levels coming and i am stil playing. but sort of want to give up putting anymore info into my brain cuz it is not going to work, i will never be able to do ionic, or anything else. feels like just giving up and go into the exam with whatever i have in my tiny brain! really. should i? cuz this is too scary. like knowing things at the last minute and the fact that you spent so much time with it and in the end, you still have got no idea wtf the question is asking about when the question comes out in a levels. then you feel so demoralized cuz you spent so much of your time on it T.T
tired and do not want to think about anything.
what do you do when somebody do not think like you or like everyone else does? does this mean you are right? or at least socially right? what if it is starting to give you pain in the a*! how many times can you put yourself in their shoes (and still not understand anything every single time you did that)?! how many times can you use the same excuse for a person, thinking that this is inherent in this person and so i cannot help it? when do you know that you have stop having feelings? how do you know you are ready to let go of whatever it is that is or was important to you? when will the fear of insecurity and fear of changes ever going to leave? when someone hurts you, is it that person insensitive or you are too sensitive?
sigh... just some questions about life that has been bugging me... haha.
sigh... a levels.
sigh, sick again. sore throat.
ps : i have concluded that i am super chicken! sis should understand. i bet that's what she thinks too... isn't it?
Labels: Family, Random thoughts
October 08, 2007
i did it!!! yea! my long time plan. at last! hint : it involves secret :D nope, not the original movie or soundtrack. hehe. basically wasted one whole night with it.
ps : nope, i am not going to tell what it is! :D secret.
there were some new people a few days ago. all of them look so young and happy. like they are full of hope i guess. sort of pity them cuz they still have no idea what hit them and these people are trying to disillusion them so that they will think that it is good to be here. wait a while more... sigh... i feel so evil. but these kind of thing, they have to experience themselves. maybe they are really smart and capable, unlike some lost sheep here... :p
anyway, bus ticket increased price!!! how can a 2% increase lead to 10% increase in the freaking price! cheating! never mind...
nowadays getting hungry at midnight. just down a maggi tom yam soup yesterday! oh, there is a way to cook it so that it will be superb! learnt it from ps and improvised! haha. not really. but it was great. here's the trick. if you add too much water, it'll taste like so kind of diluted-not-spicy-water. so, you must add very little water. like kuah that you can barely drink. and of course, you should not drink cuz it will taste like some concentrated-msg. so, you add a little water and the whole packet of rempah and slurp all the way! ok, i am getting hungry... T.T btw, you add the rempah after you boil it. then you throw the water away and add new hot water. and the the rempah :D
still very addicted to facebook. addicted to betting on my beautiful-adorable-cute-sweet
-kissable-pokable zlaugh. erm, don't ask, if you are my friend in facebook, you will know. but i keep losing money T.T never mind.
btw, have any idea what xiao hao means? supposed to be my dog's name...
ps : nope, i am not going to tell what it is! :D secret.
there were some new people a few days ago. all of them look so young and happy. like they are full of hope i guess. sort of pity them cuz they still have no idea what hit them and these people are trying to disillusion them so that they will think that it is good to be here. wait a while more... sigh... i feel so evil. but these kind of thing, they have to experience themselves. maybe they are really smart and capable, unlike some lost sheep here... :p
anyway, bus ticket increased price!!! how can a 2% increase lead to 10% increase in the freaking price! cheating! never mind...
nowadays getting hungry at midnight. just down a maggi tom yam soup yesterday! oh, there is a way to cook it so that it will be superb! learnt it from ps and improvised! haha. not really. but it was great. here's the trick. if you add too much water, it'll taste like so kind of diluted-not-spicy-water. so, you must add very little water. like kuah that you can barely drink. and of course, you should not drink cuz it will taste like some concentrated-msg. so, you add a little water and the whole packet of rempah and slurp all the way! ok, i am getting hungry... T.T btw, you add the rempah after you boil it. then you throw the water away and add new hot water. and the the rempah :D
still very addicted to facebook. addicted to betting on my beautiful-adorable-cute-sweet
-kissable-pokable zlaugh. erm, don't ask, if you are my friend in facebook, you will know. but i keep losing money T.T never mind.
btw, have any idea what xiao hao means? supposed to be my dog's name...
Labels: Food
October 06, 2007
went to visit the country today. some me and my local friend day and i did not have a local friend... so... anyway, for the first time, sat on a topless bus. like those that you see the rich foreigners take.
it was ok. and the duck tour which travels on the land and sea. it was quite boring but still acceptable. cuz the tour guides basically repeated what they said.
had a new dog. miniature pinscher.
do not really like it but oh well, must go back and take a good look. heard that it is still so young that it cannot walk. so it hops... weird, but never mind. named xiao hao. don't know what that means too. sigh... still like my terrier T.T
a levels soon. don't want to think about it.
most probably i will end up back there. come to think of it, it is not bad. it is not easy to get into u here. and once you get in, there will be like the same kind of pressure. i am really not sure. plus, i do not even know what course i want. most probably business. art? :D